As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
