Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
false alarm. still invincible.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize