Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Two words: nipple clamps
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