Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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