Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
