how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
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I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
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You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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