I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
