fuck your aforementioned shoe
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
