..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
