Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
