I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
