I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
