Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
