U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
