whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
