it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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