Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
