the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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