So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
