If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
