yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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