I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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