So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
PANTIES FOUND
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
