Nicole vs. Life
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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