he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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