i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
