Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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