Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
How does one acquire holy water?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
