Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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