it was like getting a handjob from robocop
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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