I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
