i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
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