who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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