Only a mothe r could love this liver
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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