weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
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your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
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I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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