i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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