I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize