Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
