It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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