Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize