if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms