Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
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small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
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My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.