hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.