Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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