Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
