Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
