I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
