I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
