i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
