ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
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The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
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at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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