its not stalking. its research.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
