bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
