So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
