its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
