I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
