My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
