he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
