:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
