oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
