just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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