she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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