just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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