and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
